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Breaking News – Romney Stares Uncomprehendingly at $1 Bill
POCATELLO, ID—A $1 bill somehow made its way into the hands of Mitt Romney during a campaign stop Thursday, reportedly causing the Republican presidential candidate a moment of uncomprehending...
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Breaking News – Behind the scenes at Tampax; no , on, I mean Tampa.
Via: Mock, Paper, Scissors Ayn and Ronnie leave for some important meetings. *** Sgts Palin and Mittens reporting for Duty, Herr Kommandant. *** House darlings Eric and Michele strolling around Tampax....
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Breaking News! – Taylor Swift Now Dating James Holmes
CENTENNIAL, CO—Following her split this week with One Direction singer Harry Styles, sources confirmed today that Taylor Swift has moved on and is now dating mass murder suspect James Holmes. “Taylor...
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BREAKING NEWS – Everyone In Whitey Bulger Trial Found Dead In Woods Outside...
Via: “America’s Finest News Source” DORCHESTER, MA—The ongoing trial of notorious Boston crime boss James “Whitey” Bulger on 19 murder-related charges took another pivotal turn today as Massachusetts...
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BREAKING NEWS – Syria Conflict Intensifies As Bears Enter War
Via: ‘America’s Finest News Source’ DAMASCUS—Syria’s ongoing civil war entered a new and dangerous phase today as tens of thousands of bloodthirsty bears reportedly descended on the strife-torn...
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BREAKING NEWS – Poll: Majority Of Americans Approve Of Sending Congress To Syria
As President Obama continues to push for a plan of limited military intervention in Syria, a new poll of Americans has found that though the nation remains wary over the prospect of becoming involved...
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BREAKING NEWS – President Cruz Fondly Recalls 21-Hour Speech That Started It All
Speaking with reporters from his desk in the Oval Office Wednesday, President Ted Cruz found a moment to take a break from his duties as commander in chief and leader of the free world to fondly...
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Breaking News – John Kerry Sits In Shadows Of Kiev Café Awaiting Woman Known...
KIEV, UKRAINE Following his overnight arrival in Ukraine amid the escalating regional tensions over the the Crimean peninsula, sources confirmed seeing U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry wearing a...
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BREAKING NEWS: Pope Francis Pursues Sinner Across Vatican City Rooftops
VATICAN CITY—Numerous onlookers confirmed that His Holiness Pope Francis could be seen Thursday sprinting along the Holy See’s rooftops, darting between the chimneys and marble sculptures of the...
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